Still on my visit to the Nairobi West prison, on my way out, I got lost. So I asked a gentleman for directions. He then asked his daughter Mukami to show me the exit to Lang’ata road. She was pretty talkative. I didn’t think much of it at all, until she asked me where I went to church, and if I knew her cousin by the same name.
What caught my attention was her confidence. She was just about 8 or 9 years old. Normally those are the impressionable years in our lives. But the fact that this 8 year old could strike up a conversation with an adult that she had never met amazed me. Purely because I saw myself in her.
I was that confident girl who struck conversations with adults and looked at adults straight in their eyes. I saw myself as I was before the baggage. I saw why I have always treasured the age of 8 years.
That was just a year before the whirlwind begun that would last 16 years of my life! A journey that took my true path,or destiny if you like, on a detour.
But now I am grateful that I am back on track, getting rid of the pain and hurt of the past that has cost me. It is not easy, at times along the way, I just feel like throwing in the towel. But even when I ask myself what for. I remember the pain and what it has cost me, and I keep going. One moment at a time, one day at time! I know I'll make it to the glorious end.
The renewal has come, and now as I learn, I know I can wade through it all one day at a time, My Lord help me through this...
2 comments:
Wow, looking back, i see my 8 year self as care free and confident! i wanna fresh start and i'm working day by day for this renewal, to jus let go of my baggage and get a clean slate....thanks for sharing...i really feel you=)
Wow..Laimani at 8yrs. I was quite a free soul, running around, climbing trees and I loved playing shake, blaader and katti (seven stones was my favourite)! I love being a team leader...then came the instructions from higher authorities 'don't talk too much,be quiet like a good girl, girls don't climb trees, that skirt is too short (my P.E. kit was big knee length bloomers and a wrap skirt that was below the knee!),don't ask visitors questions etc..etc..and that quietly but steadly corroded my self esteem in my quest to comform to the pattern of being a good girl. Thankfully, today my mind is renewed, and I have no regrets of the
journey my life took. Why? Because it has flooded my heart with compassion. The hurt and pain is now replaced with love and faith. I just love experiencing my true self as God unfolds me. Simply lovely!
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