FORE -T-R-E-A-T

It’s been another 12 weeks already! And I must say, my, oh my, you are all looking A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! You are all glowing and you are filled with so much joy. You are all shining inside out and that is a beautiful thing! It’s been a long rough road, that is coming to an end to join up to a new beautifully paved road with a lane dedicated just for you, a chauffeur to drive you to where you need to be in horse drawn carriage.

Your hair in the wind and a kiss of beautiful air on your beautiful faces; you can scream and laugh freely now. What’s there to worry about; Jesus is handling it! You may hit a few potholes and unexpected bumps but the road to your glorious destination is within your reach, just stay on the chariot and know that you are beautiful and He who begun a good work in you is faithful to complete it; Phil1:6.

Soak up that sun and let the wind kiss your face with every blow. Laugh out loud, run, jump, sing and dance. You are free; this is the beginning of a glorious life. Take it one moment at a time; enjoy the beautiful landscapes and scenery around you. Let the ocean blow your mind, let the green pastures make you giddy inside, let the clear blue sky lift your spirits.

Because the guy who created those put tenfold in effort, to create you even more beautiful than all the landscapes put together! You are free ladies! You are free! Celebrate, it’s not how you feel when you wake up that counts, it’s what you know that keeps you going. You have been set free and you my beautiful ladies are free indeed!

LET’S ROCK THE HOUSE AT THE FORETREAT! WOOOHOOOO!

Goodbye Rihanna, Good Bye Katt Williams

It has been a while since our last entry. To be honest I wasn’t sure what exactly there was to write. It has been an emotional roller coaster. I had a good evening on Saturday with a fellow Alabastronite. What I loved about the evening the most, was being able to open up my heart and be very candid with her and not worrying about what she thought. You all need to realize one thing that I think Laimani reiterates every time; ‘People outside have not gone through Alabastron’. It’s with that in mind that we need to stay close knit as Alabastronites to build and support each other.

My relationship with God has been gradual and I have been taking it one day at a time. I have reached a point where I need to surrender my all to Jesus. When you’ve struggled with an addiction of being a control freak, like I was it tends to be a challenge to fully trust and obey Jesus. But this morning that was my prayer. I know it is for my own good.

I realized the reason why I feared surrender so much was purely the fear of shame. In Mark 1, when John the Baptist is described as eating locust and honey and dressed in skins I thought to myself O! Lord here we go again, why is it that God has to make his prophets look like loony bins?! Will I be the annoying preacher and freak on the streets yelling, ‘the end is near…REPENT’ if I surrender to God. I’ll be real with you; that scares me.

But the realization I got in prayer this morning and even what I have gone through in meditation this morning from Galatians 2:20 is that I need to die to allow Jesus to live. This is where the rubber meets the road in the walk! This is where all the comforts and luxuries I am used to; the sexed up music, movies and jokes must die. The addictions must die, and to live I need to drown myself in God’s word! This is easier written than done! But I chose to take the step! I must Trust Jesus, Lord Hold my hand…

Twinkle of an Eye

By Flo Makosi

Hey there, i read this and i thought it was too profound to keep to myself, so I'm here I am sharing... now that i have the gist of how this works.

2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, behold the old has gone and the new has come". A verse we are all familiar with yaani it works like this in the twinkling of an eye - the time it takes for us to say, I BELIEVE, we become a spiritually new creation. However, God's process of shaping and molding us into the image of Christ takes a lifetime...although iI would love it to be immediate. This process is how to become spiritually beautiful... and it does not stop there in 2 Corinthians 3:18 "And we who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is Spirit"... Can you imagine reflecting God's glory people look at you and are literally blinded oh my oh my... and its not because I've bathed in Fa or applied Vaseline isn't this an amazing something!!! Oh how I love Jesus. I know no other beauty treatment that will make a woman truly beautiful. Be blessed dear ladies!

He Makes It Rain

I believe Jesus has His ways of keeping you cool and reminiscent of how far he has brought you. This month alone; most of the people that I have spoken to have reminded me of how far I have come. I never knew how long I had known a friend of mine till she told me that she had known me before I got my first job in the media industry. That has been quite some time. She told me that she has been following my progress!

It’s then that I remembered what my dreams and aspirations have been. I was chatting with a cousin of mine and just talking to her made me realize that the fire and events of the later part of last year steered me away slightly from my passion and dreams. The Lord has been faithful; He has brought amazing friends in my life, a flourishing relationship with my family. And He has shown me how truly unlimited I am as long as He’s King of my life.

It scares and excites me, how far He plans to take me and I know there are other areas in my life that I need to work on…I give Him all the glory. From the days of hunger, death, tears, suicide and hurt; He’s lifted me up to celebrate what His purpose is for me. I know I can trust in Him, I can say that with conviction now because I believe it! JESUS LOVES ME, because HE said so! I have seen His love through it all. His Love is always there; we just choose to not see it! He showers us each day with His goodness, a gentleman and a King who loves us and sees us as we were destined to be!

No more Drama!

I knew I always preferred a life of solitude to one with so many friends. Well, if you are like me, you realize that life throws a wakeup call and you are put in a place where you need that close confidante! Well the road is rosy the first couple months. It always is with every relationship. You seem to have so much in common, how you reason, your preferences, even the kind of guys you like or you may have married.

But like every relationship, it hits a plateau. It’s not like a job that you can ditch and move on to the next one that appeals to your creative side that’s dying for a challenge. You need to work at it; all the disputes, the unmanaged expectations and being able to articulate your emotions and expectations without hurting the other person.

I have always been one on the communication high horse. Always spewing advice to others about the need to speak up and out, calmly to friends and family about what you feel inside. And knowing however uncomfortable it is you still need to do it. It’s beneficial to both parties. Easier said than done!

Let’s say the good Lord; yes Jesus is a darling, has shown me the importance of it in my relationships. But it has been hard. But I am slowly getting the hang of it. It really is such a cool feeling! No weight on my shoulder wondering ‘what if?’ Just knowing that what I said is just that; no cryptic meaning to be deciphered. It’s just as I said it! And that me fair ladies; is a revelation!

It hit me just this week that working at a friendship is similar to any other relationship in that respect. You manage your expectations, no scripts, no baggage and no bitterness. Just bliss! Like Jesus planned it to be! Mary J. said it best; No more drama! So have a great relationship week! Aaahh!

A Cry for Help

I feel rotten today! Overwhelmed, my mind is on a go slow. I know it is a complete contrary of how I felt yesterday, but that is how I feel. My mind is tired, my heart is exhausted and I just want to vegetate. There are a lot of things that I planned to push this January and right now all I want is to go away; run far far away.

I want a hug, a prayer and a place to lay my head! I am fighting tears at my desk. I don’t want intelligent answers or insight or scripture of encouragement. I just want to breathe. I know this is the time to pray to God to ask for his strength. But the truth is I don’t want to ask for His strength, I just want Him to hold my hand and carry me. That’s all I want. I know it is not much to ask. Jesus, carry me. I am mentally, emotionally and I think even spiritually tired. I can’t seem to pray much anymore.

It’s times like these that jumping back to past addictions seems appealing. Because I can’t nurse the pain. Now I feel like calling up the emotional cushion (guy pal) or just stuff myself with food. I know now that all that is not worth it. But I am in so much agony right now all I feel like doing is grinding my teeth as I pray to God to change this thought pattern right now.

Transformation is a beautiful thing. I think of diamonds; they are tough minerals, but with a single blow they can be disintegrated into smaller more beautiful pieces. I feel like I am at that phase. It’s painful but necessary. I feel like running away. Even if I roll off of the blowing table, I’ll still be caught and taken through the process, to be chipped into shape. And finally graced on a beautiful hand and treasured for a life time.

I want a shoulder to cry on right now. Jesus, take it, take it now! That’s all I ask. That’s….all I ask of you Jesus!